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More About Johnny: We asked Johnny to write his eulogy for us:
“Here lies Johnny, no I mean Charlie. Here is guy who knew how to market for Dive Provo. His ideas were really great and really good. Make sure my Porsche is well taken care of.”
Johnny knows how to do this job and if given the honor to market Dive Provo Johnny promises to deliver a high-end product that’ll put all the other cars to shame.

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More About Sasha: Born in Eastern Germany, as a little girl Sasha toiled in father’s modest German bakery to help her family make ends meet. It was here that Sasha’s reputation was born. It has been said that one year the bakery was doing very poorly; no one was eating bread from the family business. Taking matters into her own hands, Sasha began bullying passers-by who refused to stop and purchase bread from the bakery. She would taunt, threaten, and charge people on the streets. Every year her behavior grew worse and worse until Sasha actually began torturing the innocents on the streets. Eventually her father had to go so far as to fire Sasha, which was a sad day indeed. Sasha worked for years as an undercover assassin for secret German fronts.

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More about Winnie H.: Winnie’s upbringing is murky to say the least. Many have only vague memories of her, other than seeing Winnie reach into their pockets at some point. Born on the islands of Turks and Caicos, Winnie began her first business as a little girl selling sea shells by the shore to tourists then later forming her own reggae band; Winnie and the Whiners. For years she had fooled tourists into believing she was the president of Turks and Caicos and that they had to pay her a tourist tax. After that Winnie worked rather unsuccessfully as a phone psychic.

Winnie, if given your vote, promises not to steal any money or blow anything away. She claims to be in tight with many of the stars from the mid to late 80’s and promises to resurrect a few careers.

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More About Lucretia: An excellent Bingo player, Lucretia began her entertainer career doing impersonations for the retired and elderly at the local community bingo get-togethers. Locals say she got a little carried away when she began impersonating various farm animals and they lamentably had to ask her to leave – but not before she had made of with all the bingo cards and chips and started hosting her own bingo events! Lucretia’s bingo nights are run by her many grandchildren.

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More About Santa: Much has been said about this legend, yet little is known about his past. Until now.

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More about Fry and Fly: This so-called “high profile marketing company” couple hopes to take the marketing world by storm. Currently living together in one of the more questionable hotels in Atlanta, Fry and Fly met online during peak times of their lives. Fry was once a well-respected shoe store manager and Fly worked for a prominent wedding planning company. Soon after meeting, their careers took a serious nose dive when they decided to do a lot of drugs and start their own marketing business. Known for late night binges and violent lovers’ spats, Fry and Fly have certainly left a few impressions.

If given your vote of confidence, Fry and Fly promise to put away the booze, stop arguing and sleeping around and deliver first class marketing stuff!

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More About Randy:

When asked to define his life in one simple sentence, Randy said, “I wanna do entertainment for people and make them all do stuff that’s funny.” Born and raised by his maw maw and paw paw in a trailer community in Memphis, Randy discovered his love for entertaining others early on. “Randy used to make us all laugh with his racy jokes and his wild dancing. I always like it when he’d wear my dresses…” his mother, Susan Hooper states. If given the chance to market for Dive Provo Randy would be your bestest friend ever ever, invite you over for BBQ, and introduce you to his sister.

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More About Mary: Much of Mary’s past is unknown. He began his career as a Dive Provo scuba diving instructor at the age of 19, some 15 years ago. Mary spends much of his time on dating service websites, beefing up his online profile and chatting with women on other islands that he will never meet.

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More About Mandy: Given away for early adoption by an undisclosed rock band, Mandy was raised by various members of the elite Red Hat Society, a ladies’ social club, in Marietta, Georgia. It was here that Mandy learned to bake, play spades and behave like a lady ought to. During social events for the Society of the Red Hats, Mandy is politely asked to bake lemon meringue pies, turkey souffle and beef stroganoff. While seemingly polite and lady-like, rumors of Mandy cursing and howling late at night have filled the square of Dawsonville.   While knowing nothing at all about marketing, Mandy vows to do whatever it takes to break out of her predicaments and begin a new life.

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Please watch all the videos in the contest before voting.

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